Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[bayinghound]

I'm plugging along with my Space Mountie project and someone suggested something really goofy...A mutated poutine monster. I'm trying to conceptualize that. What would you put on a mutant poutine? Would the fries be tentacles? Where does the gravy come in? Do I put eyes on it and a mouth? Terrifying.

[Old Codger]

Hmmm. Being from Texas as I am I had to look up what poutine actually was. Fries with gravy sounds good (although down here we might use peppered country gravy) although I'm not sure about the curds. Is that something like what we down here call cottage cheese? I do know a good sharp cheddar sprinkled on fresh-out-of-the-deep-fryer fries would be good. But all in all it does sound good.

Now for the mutant poutine. How about it really is a space monster which only LOOKS like a dish of poutine? The fries could morph into tentacles. The gravy could be some sort of super sticky digestive juice while the curds are really compound eyes each with individual lids. The eyes could be on stalks. I assume that the restaurant variety is served either on a plate or bowl or plate while fast food would have it in a pasteboard bowl of sorts. The container would be like the animal's carapace and would be part of its camouflage. It ought to have several crab-like legs that tuck in under the carapace. Remember, poutine monsters are ambush hunters. They sit there looking (and smelling - got to have the authentic smell of hot fries and gravy) like the most mouth-watering dish of poutine ever served. Then when someone goes to grab a fry it curls around their finger and pulls their hand into the sticky digestive pseudo gravy. Nestled under the pseudo fries is a mouth full of sharp teeth which can strip a hand of flesh with a speed to make a piranha jealous. Sometimes, when the creature is grown too large to pass even as a family order, it takes on the aspect of a restaurant table with a pseudopod simulating the order of poutine.

Sorry I waxed eloquent. My brain is kinda fried. I've been trying - unsuccessfully - to craft a spiral staircase. Got the steps okay and the supports for the handrail but the handrail itself is flat out eating my lunch. I just cannot figure a formula to calculate the angles for each rail segment. It ought to be similar to a coil but I just cannot make it work.

[bayinghound]

I was discussing this with a friend of mine and he suggested something like the "Blob" but with tentacles, the cheese curds would be eyeballs and maybe throw a mouth with sharp teeth.

My last job was for a company specializing in Canadian comfort foods, the main attraction was the poutine.

[Old Codger]

What? You didn't like my idea for an ambush predator which disguises itself as Kanukistani comfort food? I'm hurt! You hurt my feelings! Bad doggie! Bad doggie! LOL And here I thought I was being SO clever. {/irony} I still think my idea was better. I can just see a big bowl of fries covered in brown gravy and cottage cheese sprouting little arthropod legs and scuttling across a table to get closer to an unwitting Kanukistani. Iive never tried to use morph targets (not into animation) but I think you would use the morph targets to make the tentacles look like the fries.

Oh! Oh! Just had - to quote the very lovely Haley Mills in "The Trouble With Angels" (darned near all the guys my age had a crush on her back in the day ) - "a scathingly brilliant idea! The creature actually grows quite large, going off to hide while it metamorphoses into its next growth stage. Stage one is a single serving of poutine starting with a fast food size and growing to restaurant size with hard plate/bowl. When it has enough mass stored to start the transformation it crawls away into the woods and metamorphoses into the picnic/restaurant table size creature I mentioned above. Eventually it changes to look like first a street vendor (who looks quite human but is strangely untalkative) meanwhile quickly devouring people off the street and growing into first a small restaurant specializing in poutine then a larger restaurant. Not sure what happens next.

What do you think?